So I have always had this thing that I've felt for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to use the words jealousy or envious because of the negative and spiteful emotions they bring up. I would say more of a wishfulness. No matter what I have had going on in my life, I've always wanted to have the body of this friend, or the humor of that friend. And even in my times of chosen singlehood, I have always wanted the relationship this friend has with their significant other.

But today I had the realization that I don't have that wishfulness about anyone at all right now. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for those I love having what they have, but that sense of wanting is gone. Would certain things be nice? Sure. But I don't think that will ever go away.

But that driving feeling of not being 'right' enough on my own is gone. I don't feel the need to fill my life with things I don't have because, well, I just don't. I guess it means I am really, truly, for the first time, happy with who I am. And while that may not seem like a huge accomplishment for some, it's huge for me.

I guess it's because I finally see where my life is taking me. I finally have a clearer path than I ever have. And I know I have what it takes to make it happen.

It's so funny how I realized I felt this way...it's the same way I felt when I realized I wasn't thinking about Steve for the first time, or thinking about Hillarie for the first time. Realizing I don't think about it because I stop and think, "Hey, I'm not thinking about it!"

There have been a few times (can count on one hand) where I knew, deep in my soul, that was I was doing was right. And I have that feeling now. I just know, in every aspect of my life, that I'm on the right track.

And it feels so damn wonderful.