I think I know....

As anyone who knows me will attest to, when I have my mind made up about something, I usually don't give it up without kicking and screaming. There will be no kicking, no screaming. I will try out the goddamn bank idea......

I am on birth control (this is my first month in a long time) because of some problems I was having with my cycle. Well, I am an emotional mess sometimes, and yesterday was the start of what I can only assume will be a raging case of PMS. Yet again, Steve was amazing. I drew up a budget to see how much money we will need to make in a month to pay rent, movers, and the deposit. I think he thinks I was being a bit masochistic, but I was simply trying to know what goal it was I was trying to reach. The amount of money was staggering. Not impossible, simply staggering. Of course I decide to do this yesterday, the day we signed our lease, Steve got the job at the Field House and we were on cloud nine. I guess my timing wasn't the greatest, because it stressed him out a bit. So we decided to grab some food (with limited options, being 11:30 at night). We walked to the Deluxe Grill on Irving Park and on the way, my purse kept slipping down my arm. He finally said, 'Here, give me that!' and took it. He carried my purse for me. I had just been on a hormone driven rampage of "this coat makes me feel fat" and "we shouldn't eat because we need to save our money", blah blah blah. My purse falling down was too much for me, and he carried it. It was amazing. Once we got to the restaurant, it was full. He looked at me and said, "I think you need some IHOP." Of course I DID need some IHOP, and he knew what it was that was going to make me feel better.

One more way I know he is made for me. He could read that I needed IHOP, he carried my purse for me, drove, and we had a great dinner. Then we had some great dessert. And this morning, the shit with the bank. But alas, I shall conceed. I am willing to try it. Basically, I am willing to try anything if it means helping out our future, my future with the man I love. I would do anything under the sun and then some that he asked me to do. Some of my old conditioning will come raging up, I'm sure (like the bank deal) but once I get over my old way of thinking, it will be okay. Anything for the man I love. Even fucking banking.