And we continue with the changes

Mom and dad had their cat, Martina, put down yesterday. She had suffered strokes and was getting to the point of not being comfortable. So, they did the right thing.

That is one of the greatest lessons I've learned from my parents (aside from unconditional love, my values, etc.)....the greatest act of love you can give an animal is to help it stop hurting. That was something that was instilled in me from my early childhood.

Animals in our home have never been just animals....they become a part of the family. They are there constantly, sharing Christmas presents (or just the wrappers), finding their way into family pictures or having almost an entire roll of film dedicated to just them. They are our children, we are their protectors. When they hurt, we hurt. We worry about their health. We take pride in things they do. We laugh at their silliness. We have conversations with them (and anyone who has seen me with KFC knows how true this is). We mourn when they pass.

We found Martina (or rather, she found us) when I was in high school. She was starving and we thought she was a boy kitty. We named her Starvin' Marvin and fed her, loved her, protected her. A few days later, we found the kittens she had...Adrian, Dennis and Sam. We lost Adrian to a diaphramatic hernia and Sam to the road, but Dennis and Martina remained. They became inside/outside cats and, when mom and dad moved to Bloomington, they became strictly indoor cats.

Martina gave our family so much....she gave us three wonderful kittens that became wonderful cats, losing two too soon. She gave us the alter ego Beezer, because of her dramatic mood swings. She was my sistergurl and mom and dad's child.

I don't have to imagine what mom and dad are going through...they've been through it many times and I went through it twice last year. It never gets easier because each pet is different. They have distinct personalities, distinct ways of interacting with each other and us.

I truly believe everyone and everything comes to us for a reason. We can say we 'found' a pet or 'bought' a pet, when in all actuality, they choose us. For people who feel the same way, this will all make sense. For those who consider a pet an animal and that's it, none of this will seem to make sense, let alone seem sane. Maybe it's because of the way I was raised or just the way I am instinctually, but I could never understand someone when they said, "Just get another cat (or dog or hampster or fish or whatever). I would never dream of telling someone, "Just get another cousin (or father or grandmother or whatever). Some people actually say it's almost harder to lose a pet than a human because pets love unconditionally, never judging you for your actions to others or realizing that you've put on weight or you're broken out. Do I think it's harder? In a way, yes. Am I downplaying the grief others feel (myself included) for losing a human in their lives? No way. It's just different. It's a different pain. It's a different loss.

Is it just as hard? Yes. Especially when you have to make the decision to end their life because it's the best decision you can make for them. It is a completely different dynamic, different pain.

It is the last act of love you can do for something that depends on you for their safety, comfort and health.

Mom and dad, I am so proud of you. You did the right thing. And slowly, that feeling will overtake the feelings of grief you are having. And you know this. I only know it because I learned it from you.