Everything DOES look so much better on TV

I have a ridiculous cold. I mean, this shit is whack. Yeah. I said whack. Almost of the wiggity variety, but that is for another day. Another day.

I have been seeing sooo many commercials for this new "warming liquid" (aka: Vodka)by Tylenol and TheraFlu and the end results are always a woman on a couch-type seating thing with a warm and obviously comfortable shawl/blanket wrapped around her. She is looking very happy and very not sick. I hate her and want to be her at the same time.

That shows the power of commercials. Well, maybe not so much that example because, hey, who doesn't want to feel better when they are sick?

The real power? The real power of suggestion? Let's list them here....

~Certain Lysol commercials have a background song that makes me want to clean. I mean, like, CLEAN. It's that poppy sound of The Postal Service. The Postal Service makes me want to disinfect.

~Monistat commercials make me want to wear white cottony pant-type things and curl up on a couch with a mug of tea, happy with the condition of my ladybusiness. It almost makes me want to have a yeast infection so I can heal and sit on a couch like that, having lived through the hell o' the yeast and come out on the other side. With white cottony pant-type bottoms on. And a mug of tea. On a couch. Maybe throw in a book?

~Valtrex. If TV advertising tells us anything, it tells us that all people with sexually transmitted diseases are beautiful, married, extremely active and have perfect hair. Seriously. On some level I know if I were to contract an STD I would suddenly take up hiking. Or canoing. Or cuddling on a hammock. In my back yard. Hammock.

I want to kill and congratulate those media people. They can sell it. Oh yes. They can sell it.

Now I have to go and vote for my favorite American Idol contestants.