The great release

Ah.....the show is over for a few days. A few days to get the glitter off of me (and out of the bed....poor Steve woke up with glitter on one side of his face this week). A few days to chill after classes. A few days to reconnect with those that I've lost contact with in my insanity.

One of my professors had a stroke on Thursday during class. Not my class, thankfully, but the class right before mine. I haven't heard anything about him so I'm hoping no news is good news. But it's really weird....I didn't grasp the concept of a stroke (even though I've know people who have had them) until I mentioned to Heather about writing to him to let him know I wouldn't be in class. Her response threw me.....she said, "Hon, I think it may be a non-issue". Just letting the seriousness of it sink it.

Otherwise, I'm doing so much better. I'm trying to make myself relax. I'm trying to help Steve through his work-related down feelings. I'm trying to make up for lost time with the KFC and some lovin'. I'm trying to get excited about my birthday, but there is really nothing special about it. I have a show that night. I won't get to see Steve for very long before he leaves for work and I leave for the show. My parents are coming in that weekend (I think...I need to call them). I don't know. Ever since Mike's death, I haven't really been into my birthday. I don't think they're directly related. I don't know why they would be. We never had many special birthday memories, except the fact that he would always get me a card with a half naked woman on it and some dirty type joke inside. Yeah, we really bonded after I came out. Last year there was a surprise party for me, but a friend didn't know it was a surprise and she wrote me an email about it. That's okay....the thought was still there and it was a wonderful thought.

Anyway, just trying to get back to being me. I don't like not being me, and I feel that I haven't been me for a few months. I know people understand, but I'm my own worst critic. But that will soon change. I'm excited to have evenings at home, doing homework, being with Steve and my friends. Being alone and not rushed all the time. Those are the things that make me okay with not doing theatre for awhile. I just can't while I'm in school.

I feel like I'm finally starting to say no when I need to, and it's weird. Nice, but weird. Just different. I'm usually the yes person.

And now I'm going to sit on the couch, pour myself a drink and relax, waiting for the man to arrive from work so I can heal him from it.

*sigh* The letdown begins.....and it's so wonderful.