Some reason

Okay, I have to understand that there is some reason it has taken me this damn long to find a job. I have confirmation that two of the three people I interviewed with at the Hyatt really liked me, and I'm just waiting to hear about the third one. And I was told they would try to get me in on Monday, today, to start training. But it's after 3 and I haven't heard anything yet. I really hope I got it.

I think I know why Kelly never called me back. I messed up so much on that application, on my computer tests and realized I gave them my resume with my new last name, not telling them that to check for references, they would need to use my middle name. And I never heard from them at all.

I haven't heard anything at all from Debra either. She was going to present me to a possible job in Arlington Heights and to a law firm, but I didn't get a call about either position. I guess that's a blessing, especially if I do get this job at the Hyatt. Then I won't have to say, "Sorry, I already got a job" because, even though I haven't heard anything, I would still feel bad in a weird sort of way.

I'm just anxious. Just nervous and excited at the same time, and it's never something I handle well. Wanting to know something eats at me. And I'm excited to be bringing money into this relationship in some form other than student loans or a part time gig.

I know my background check came back just fine, because I have nothing on my record at all. And I already asked.....they don't check parking tickets! So I should be just fine.

I know they're busy, but I just need to know if I got it or not. Even if they don't get me in today or tomorrow, just knowing I got it will release some tension that has been building up......and I don't know that I can handle one more job where I think I have it, only to not hear anything at all.

I'm just freaking out and need to calm myself. It will all work out. There are reasons for everything, and I have to hold on to that thinking.