School starts tomorrow, and while I'm usually excited for it, I am more excited for random things in my life.

Yes, I will be graduating, which is something I didn't think I would be doing. And having made the choice to wait it out and apply to the grad program I really want, I am a bit nervous about finding a job in the meantime. I'm sure it won't be hard, and if all else fails, I will get some office job until time for school again. It wouldn't be that bad, knowing it was temporary. But there is always a sense of nervousness when I know I am going to have to get out there and find a job. Especially when I am now going to be looking for a specific job within a specific field. But if I am to have it, I will have it. It's my job to put energy into it, it's the job of the Universe to make sure it happens.

I have had a wonderful renewal of my spirituality as of late. Thanks to Laura, who got me "The Mists of Avalon" for Christmas, I am reading about all the mysterious things that I used to live daily.

The moment when it hit me the most, that I lost my spirituality, was a night coming home on the bus. There was a full moon, and a perfectly clear sky. The moon's reflection on the lake was huge and beautiful. I was staring at the moon, and this thought crossed my mind: It's just a planet type thing circling the earth, nothing more. It lost all of it's mystical properties to me, and it just became something pretty to look at on my way home.

That moment really saddened me. I felt I had lost all connection to nature and things unexplained. All that I had relied on to get me through tough times was gone. I realized I had been relying on myself so much that I ignored my need for spiritual fulfillment. I thought, for one brief and completely erroneous moment, that I had gotten through the last few months on my own strength and support from those around me physically.

In reading "The Mists of Avalon", I have had a doorway opened for me that will allow me back into the fold of what I believe. It is an awesome re-entrance into a world which gave me comfort and support. It is the knowledge that all things are connected, that there is a reason for all actions, and there is support that comes from places we can never know of, only believe in.