First off, a correction: It wasn't Robert that had anything to do with "Legends of the Fall". That was "A River Runs Through It". Confusion. And my sincerest apologies!

The more I think about the trip, the more giddy I feel in the bottom of my stomach. I can't wait. It just seems like the perfect thing for me. And, let's not forget that it will look good on a resume as well.

And as mom brought up tonight, think about the stories I will hear from elderly members of the Blackfeet tribe. Mamaw said that her grandfather came from Blackfeet, and Grandma Turpin was Cherokee. So even though I am very much so removed from that bloodline, it will still give me the chance to hear stories about the lives of those living on the reservation. It's very fascinating to me. During the readings we had in my social inequality class, the talks about Native Americans and how our government destroyed their way of life (and lives in most cases) was always the most fascinating to me. Of course, general isms are fascinating, but there was something about the Native American stories that got to me in a bit of a different way. Who knows.

I'm just thinking about all I'm going to be doing this year. So far, it's looking like a pretty busy year. Travel will be included quite a bit. Austin. Las Vegas. Montana. South Dakota. And I would love to get back overseas, but that may have to wait until next late winter/early spring. I would love to go with mom to Stonehenge. Imagine the two of us let loose on Great Brittan!

Here's the way I look at this: I know everything happens for a reason. And obviously being in a relationship didn't stop me from Venezuela. But I have to wonder if I would be as willing to go to as many places if I had someone here. I don't think I would. And it's so wonderful to be going and not having questions about what my significant other was doing to fill their time while I was gone. That is a thing of the past.

So now, I'm just so damn content to think about all the travels that I'm going to be on this year. Both physically and emotionally. Graduating in May. Finding a job within my field. Getting prepared for my PhD. These are all wonderful things.

I'm cycling through to the high end of the spectrum again. I'm feeling really good about myself, the direction I'm taking, the way things are turning out.

Maybe it's the freshness from the start of a new year. Maybe it's the fact that, so far, nothing this year has happened that has really set me back. Therapy was rough on Wednesday, but it's going to be rough every once in awhile. It was nothing I couldn't bounce back from.

In fact, there is nothing that I can't bounce back from. And that is a really great feeling. That was my greatest gift from last year and all that happened. The gift of realizing my own strength and self worth.

Regardless of what may be said about the situation, I know the truth of it all. I know the conversations had. I know the intentions behind actions. I know, because I was there, existing in it every minute. And when it wasn't physically there, it was there in my head.

I can put 2006 to bed with a clear conscious. And, the more hours that tick by in 2007, the more confident I am that, indeed, I have come out of this past year a much stronger and wiser woman. That the choices that were made, and are continuing to be made, have put me in the place where I need to be.

When it seems dark, I can hold on to that thought and it carries me through.