I love volunteering. I just love it. I love the cats, the rabbits, and the people. I've been shown a few of the cats who have behavioral problems, and they are going to be my special projects. I know that with enough time and love, they can turn around and be adoptable.

While it gets very overwhelming at times, I'm really enjoying this new awareness of my responsibility for taking up space on this earth. All sorts of things are shifting within me, and all of the results are really positive.

I'm noticing every time I use my car instead of biking. I am proud every time I use my totes instead of plastic bags in stores. I'm so happy that I gave up all meat and fish again. It probably won't be long until I'm vegan. I have that feeling. The hardest things to give up would be cottage cheese, honey (and all my Burt's Bees stuff) and foods with eggs in them (like my beloved cheese blintzes at IHOP). But I think it will be a change that will happen, simply based on the way all things are changing within me. And there are so many alternatives to those products. It will be interesting if I do make that change. It will require many vitamins!

I just feel the need to use this new awareness in a large scale way. I feel the need to create some serious change around me, making the world a better place for all who live on it. I feel the need to explore areas all over the globe and make things better. I'm just starting to have a fear that this lifetime won't be enough.

But I know that the changes I'm making now, the things I'm doing every day, are creating some change, regardless of how small or seemingly insignificant. This is a time when I wish I was incredibly independently wealthy, and use that money to save things, have a large presence when needed, and have a voice that can't be ignored. Because money still drives this society, and sometimes it's the only thing that gets you heard.

Except many voices. Large numbers are hard to ignore. And there are many voices speaking out right now about things that are going to affect us very soon.

This is just a weird kinda day. There is some energy in the air, and I feel like I'm slowly becoming a part of something that's much larger than I could even imagine. Maybe we are finally waking up as a society to the things that need to be done and changed. Maybe I am just feeling something that I haven't really felt before....I feel like I'm really going to make a difference. Maybe not today or this week or year, but I just feel like I'm going to do something to help on a much larger scale than using totes instead of plastic bags when I buy cat food at Walgreens.

Maybe I'm just relieved that I have finally found an outlet for that need I have to make things better. In a healthy way, in a way that will actually make things better. I'm not finding people to date who need much more help than I could ever give. I'm not creating crisis within my every day life so I could have a sense of solving something. I no longer need those things.

I no longer need those things because, for the first time in my life, I know what I am worth. I know what I can give. I know what I'm willing to put up with and deal with. And I have no time for personal drama or holding someone's hand as they try to bring me down. All of this energy is going to myself and those things that really need it.

Damn, it feels good to be me right now. And I've only waited all my life to say that.