Another One

I had another dream where I woke up crying. Again, it was about Patty and Ethel. In these dreams, I am always wrong that they're dead. And they're there. And they love me and miss me. And I'm holding them, petting them, loving them. They're always happy and even when I'm crying in my dream (like this morning) it's a happy cry because they're there and I was wrong. This morning's dream came after I woke up, ate some Cheerios and went back to bed. The 'napping' dreams are always the worst, and that's usually when they come to me. I dreamt that they weren't dead, they just had medical bills I couldn't afford and I gave them to mom and dad. When I went to visit them (in a new house), I brought Patty with me, not understanding why I did because it was only going to be a short visit. I unlatched her pet carrier and let her out, noticing that there were five or six other cats and was kind of worried that she would get hurt. Then I saw one of them and knew it was Ethel. Patty and Ethel met up again and were so happy. I was petting Ethel and Patty, knowing that they were together again and that I was wrong about them being gone forever.

Then I woke up. Steve had already gotton out of bed. I just continued crying by myself.

I hate and love those dreams at the same time. I love that I get to see them and they're always happy, but I hate that when I wake up, reality dictates that they are cremated, in little white boxes on our curio cabinet shelves.

But they are always loved. I guess that makes it okay.