I think the greatest gift I received after the last six months has been sight. I only saw a small part of what was going on in the world around me until last September. And my work in therapy since has opened up my vision to include not just my actions and reasons for them, but reasons for the actions of others.

In a weird mixture of reality and spirituality, I am able to see the reasons for things happening the way they do. Will that stop me from making mistakes in my future? No. That's where we learn the biggest lessons.

But it has helped me to look at situations that come up and deal with them in a different way, seeing things through a different lens. Sometimes that sight comes after the fact, but for the first time ever, I am able to look at my actions and know when I've over reacted or speaking from a place of hyper sensitivity. Those were things I wasn't able to do before.

And I also know when, ultimately, it isn't about me. It was always about me before. Was it because I was self-centered or paranoid? Probably a bit of both. But now, I know who it's really about when things happen. And right now, it's about my parents. And being there for them. While it hurts me too, because I loved him, I know that my parents are the ones that this is all about right now.

And being able to take that step back and not make everything about me, a reaction to me, a thought about me, all of it, has really taken a tremendous weight off my shoulders. And that allows me to be able to be there for those who it's really about.

Getting rid of that dead weight has really made such a difference in who I am. Not feeling like the world is my responsibility is amazing. Of course, I have an outlet for all the wrongs in the world, and I will make it my career to try and educate people about those wrongs. And that is the outlet I've needed in that regard.

But in the personal realm? I have shed much of who I was and have become who I wanted to be all this time, but didn't think I could be. Because of that, I am eternally grateful for my actions over the last few years. All of those actions that lead me to where I am now. I couldn't have asked for a better trial by fire.....and the best part? Those wounds are now scars that I wear proudly. Because they brought me to this place in the world.