I have to state, at the very beginning of this post, that I am drunk. And, being drunk, it is virtually impossible for me to lie. I'm not good at lying when sober, and even worse when drunk. With that in mind.....

This is the absolute happiest I have ever been. In my entire life.

I am so fucking happy. About everything. About things I have learned. About things I continue to learn. About things I have changed.

I am just a woman who is nothing but happy. In every aspect.

I have gone through some shit. I have lived through some shit. But we all have. This is nothing new. I am not the only woman to go through a divorce. I am not the only woman to have her heart broken. These are not new things. These are things done in every day life by millions of people. Every day. There is nothing special about my story. There is nothing special about any of it.

Except that it happened to me. That is what is special about it, at least in my mind. That is what makes it special to me.

And as I come home, fresh from sharing a cab with Laura, fresh from spending the evening with those I love and would do anything for, I come home alone.

And I have never been happier about that in my entire life.

I am so fucking happy. With everything.

I love my life. For the first time ever, I truly love everything that I have.

I love my family. They have stood by me through so many things. So many things. They have supported me through my mistakes, through my learning experiences. They have been there through it all. And I love them so much. There are no words. There is no way to describe how my heart feels when I talk to my parents, Mamaw, Amy, Olivia, Max. There are no words to describe how pure and true my love is for them.

There are no words to describe my love for my family in Chicago. Those amazing people who have been there for good times and bad. Who have held my hand and reassured me that I am okay.

And there are no words to describe how much I love my life. I am so happy with how things have turned out. I am, for the first time, able to see who I truly am, and I love that person.

I have forgiven others for their mistreatment of me. And I have forgiven myself for those times when I acted against my gut instincts.

I came home tonight to an apartment that is just as I left it. I came home to a cat who is very happy to see me. I came home to a home. Something I have created and live in.

And now, I will send my drunk ass to bed. And I have no regrets. I have no sorrow. I am just a woman, living alone in Chicago, who is doing the best she can.

Doing the best she can for herself. And that is the greatest gift of all.