My CTA Rant

This has nothing to do with the people who work for the CTA, but the passengers.

If we are two of four people left on the bus, and you are sitting on the outside of me, you can move to one of the MANY open seats available. I'm sure that you are an awesome person, and maybe we would get along regarding many social and political issues. But I am only sitting there, with my legs and arms held at a very uncomfortable position because there were no other places for you to sit. I don't enjoy sitting with all my belongings on my lap and my arms and legs crossed over so you have space. And no...when I move my legs to a normal, comfortable position, I am NOT hitting on you. I am simply giving you a slight nudge toward moving. Or my legs are cramping. Got it, woman next to me today?

If you have long, luxurious, Pantene commercial hair, please make note of where it is. Because it's probably resting on my leg. Or knitting. Or the book I'm trying to read. And no, making quick turns of your head to look out the window doesn't move the hair out of the way....it simply makes it swish across my personal belongings. So if you are sitting in front of someone, please make note of where your hair is. Because yes, it may be beautiful...but let's be honest here. It's all just artificially colored dead things hanging off of your skull. And on my lap.

If you are close enough with someone to share many loud laughs and regale stories of last night's drunken escapades, then chances are you are close enough to them to be closer to them. You do not need to sit across the bus from them, screaming about how you puked in your hair and saying "like" every other word. For your information, no one else really gives a shit. I know, shocking! But there is no need to scream on the CTA unless you are being assaulted or you are stuck in the door at the back of the bus.

Likewise, if you are on your cell phone, but speaking loud enough that you don't actually NEED a cell phone to be heard, you might want to consider taking that call after you leave the bus. Otherwise, I will be listening in on said conversation. Through no desire of my own. And I will hear all about your cheating boyfriend or yeast infection. And I'm sure you don't want cutie-pie in the row ahead of you to know that much about your vagina. At least before cutie-pie buys you dinner.

Those are just a few of my very unfavorite things about riding the public transportation in this city.