There are a great many things I have learned in my life, especially in the last year and a half or so.

But the one thing I have learned that is the easiest to apply is this...

Sometimes all a woman needs is vodka, olives and the complete second season of "Sex and the City".

A little perspective is always good...

So I'm flipping through channels tonight and I come across "Help, I Am a Hoarder!". I started watching it and it was fascinating.

However, the thing that really puts life in perspective is the show that came on after...."The 750 Pound Man".

This man has been bedridden for the last 7 years because his legs can't support his weight. It's just amazing to me. Amazing that they had to buy a special weight because their scale would only go up to 750 pounds and he weighed more than that. It took a special ambulance to drive him to the nursing home where he is staying. He is re-learning to bathe himself.

There is a part of me that wonders how someone could allow themselves to get to that point. But I know that is coming from a self-righteous place because I am not bedridden because of weight. It would be really interesting to see studies on their lives and their emotional conditions to see where this stems from.

All I know is, I will never again bitch about being bloated because of my period. Absolutely not.

It hurts my soul

Yet makes me understand my life, to know that when I was in high school, I thought the musical "Carousel" was a beautiful love story. Seriously. In high school, the song "What's the Use in Wonderin'" was a theme song for me and my love life. Who cares what the person is like because love is all you need.

My lord.

Watching "Carousel" on TV today has made me realize more about my life than therapy! I can't believe just how horrible this show is. For cereal.

Not that I needed more proof....

But the mothers on this TV program who put their kids in beauty pageants are bat-shit crazy. There is a four year old wearing feather boas and a tight pink body suit with a head full of feathers and a face full of caked make up who is dancing like she is staring in a Vegas strip show.

Four years old.

And the Master of Ceremonies is just CREEPY. Serenading three year old girls with love songs. Creepy.

I am totally creeped out. Seriously. Creeped out. Screw reading Stephen King before bed to get a chill up my spine...just show me the Master of Ceremony singing, "Close to You" and "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" to babies.

End of an Emotional Era

I thought I knew what forgiveness felt like, to truly forgive someone and let the hurt and anger go. I was wrong.

It took my meeting with Jenna yesterday to make me understand what truly forgiving someone felt like. And for the first time in a year and a half, I have completely released the events of 2006.

I can't even explain just how excited I am to start my life again.